pp: i had a therapy appointment

so it feels really strange to be writing about this on my blog but because i talked about it in my last few posts i thought it'd be best to talk about because i want to see my progress.

it feels good to finally be doing something productive about my mental health and i can see steps towards a positive outcome. i dont like being attention to the fact that i suffer with this, so even writing this post is scary for me because i hate the judgement, but i need to start opening up and talking about it to overcome it. 

i want to become a more confident and professional illustrator who can network and talk to people. 

pp: trying to overcome anxiety

decided to watch some videos/seminars about my anxieties with public speaking and social situations, seeing if there's any tips i can gather from them to help me deal with things like Hanbury if they arise again.




in this video, the main thing that stood out to me was when he was talking about relaxation techniques. some tips:

• breathing exercises
• eye contact - easing into it
• looking at a person's forehead instead

this video was really helpful! it was quick and easy to follow and gave 5 simple steps to start tackling my social anxiety. one i find that might help me the most is finding proof for my thoughts. where's the proof that they think i'm stupid? where's the proof that they hate me? it is something i can work towards to start overcoming my anxieties and therefore help me with my illustration practice in the future, because networking and reaching out will become easier.

pp: hanbury

so i didn't go to the hanbury event in London.

i'm really disappointed in myself. but i can't help it too much because my brain stopped me from going. i'm currently suffering with pretty bad depression and terrible social anxiety and that stops me from doing a lot of things like this that i probably would have really benefited from. something about meeting new professional people in an unfamiliar environment just terrified me and i couldn't bring myself to go through it. 

i am also really scared of london. i know this sounds silly but every time i seem to go there, i get really anxious and scared and don't like the people and the harsh streets.

i know that using my anxiety as an excuse for everything won't work as i continue to grow as a practitioner and that is something i'm going to have to try and overcome. will talk to my doctor about getting some outside help, maybe some therapy, where i could discover new ways to deal with these anxieties that i have so that i can prepare myself for the real world.

pp: illustrator business cards

as i wasn't really sure as to what illustrator's business cards usually look like, as normally there would be a logo on front and information on back, however illustrators obviously do artwork. Therefore, i wanted to find some business cards to inspire me to do something a bit different, because just having a logo on the front doesn't say much about my work.

Ana Bermejo

i think these business cards are the cutest things i've ever seen! having lots of different designs of business card is a really cool idea because it gives people a little insight into how different or similar your work can look.
i also really like the rounded edges on them, i think it makes them look friendlier (if that's possible) and could be more suited to a children's illustrator.


Greg Christman

 I found two designs that Christman had for his business cards and I think they are both really interesting. I know they are more of a designer business card instead of illustrator, but i think they're really fun. Having a colour scheme for all

of my branding seems like a good idea too, it ties everything in together much like Christman's website etc which are all a very bright yellow. 
I do love me a bit of typography.








Marina Cardoso

 Found these business cards and fell in love with them. I love the simplicity of them and yet how fun and funky they are. I think having a minimalist colour palette is really an idea that i find appealing, however wonder if my work would fit into the minimalist genre. I really like the handwritten feel of the back aswell, it makes it feel more personal and like a little piece of me.

Again i really love the idea of having more than one design for my business cards, so I think this has reaffirmed that this is what i want to do. Like a collection, for people to collet and make a nice large image.

pp: updating my facebook page

pp: research - morag hood

Morag Hood is a picture book illustrator who currently resides in Edinburgh. I chose to talk about her work because I love the simplicity and quirkiness of her children's books. the story speaks for itself without having overly complicated imagery and i think that this is quite similar to my own work, as someone who struggles with backgrounds and over complicating things. her picture books are funny, which is something that i would also love to replicate in my own work, as children love a funny book, they don't always have to be deep with a ingrained moral.

if i was to email her i would ask:

what is your creative process? 

how do you start to brainstorm your ideas?

how did you first get into the children's book scene?

would you recommend being freelance or having representation to help you?

pp: self portrait #2

here is my second self portrait. i used this when posting on instagram about changing the name of my account. i think although it is really simple, i really like the expression and colours and think that sometimes having it more simple is better. i am not a person who works super well with colour and maybe that is something i can try and improve over the next couple of months.